I'm Better Off

Yesterday while walking home from LASP I was thinking that however challenging or frustrating this study abroad experience may have been, I'm better off for doing it. I've been faced with opposing political and theological views. My call to be a missionary has been challenged, or whether missions is more harmful than good. After my trip to Cuba (yes, that's right)this week I will have experienced the realities of 6 different Latin American countries. Though I can speak Spanish and have a cross-cultural awareness, I've only just scratched at the surface. There's no way anyone can fully understand a country or culture in a week, muchless 4 months, or even several years.

One of the speakers here said that learning a language is one of the best examples of "dying to self." When you learn a language you decide to put aside the way you were taught to think and try to put yourself in another's shoes. It's a humbling,challenging, frustrating process and often takes a lot of sacrifice. Language learning is not the end, rather it is a means to an end, which is to form relationships with those from a different reality. This is the process I'm in and have been in for the past several years. In less than a month I will be graduating from Northwestern College with a bachelor's degree in Spanish and minors in Religion and Christian Mission. I'm not really sure what that means yet. I know it doesn't mean that I'm fluent, nor does it mean that I've got this whole missions thing figured out. What I do know is that God has given me a gift, a passion, and a call.

A few days ago I got word that I was accepted as a graduate student to Western Theological Seminary in Holland, MI.The plan is to do the Master of Divinty/Master of Social Work Dual Track Program. I am extremely excited for this opportunity. I've been through this process the last four years of deciding whether to go to seminary or not and whether going right after undergrad will be good for me. I don't want to go to seminary to prove anything or hold my higher education over anyone's head. I see this as a tool that God will use to prepare me and shape me into the servant that he has called me to be. I have received so much affirmation just in people's encouragement. Even after seminary I know I won't have it all figured out. In fact, I will probably have more questions than answers, but maybe that's a good thing. We are always to be seeking truth and the Truth of Christ. As humans we'll never fully understand who God is, the wants us to continue to get to know him and what he's all about.

The past three weeks in Grecia were wonderful. I lived with a younger couple, Monica & Manuel and their two kids Emanuel (11) and Nicole (6). Mis papas griega are very active in their church. Both of them are small group leaders and Manuel works as maintenance staff for the church. Mi hermanito, Emanuel is in 6th grade. He loves playing soccer, is girl crazy, and has a fascination with the United States. He sprained his ankle about a week after I had been there so he was pretty bummed he couldn't play soccer for a while. Nicole is such a girly-girl. She loves dressing up and wearing mami's makeup. She loved to play school with me and boss me around as well as interview me about my thoughts on Costa Rica as if she was a talk show host.

One of the most memorable nights was on April 1st, before papi got home, I told the rest of my family it was April Fool's Day in the US so we decided to play a joke on papi that I was leaving the next day. He believed us and decided to take us to a town nearby called Sarchi which is famous for having the biggest ox-cart inthe world. Well, it wasn't in the park so papi asked around. We ended up finding it at the workshop which was closed, but papi convinced a worker to open it up for us because this American girl was leaving the next day and hadn't seen the cart yet. So he gave us a tour of the antique workshop and it was super cool. When we went out for pizza, I broke the news to papi that it was all a joke. We all had a good laugh. It was probably the biggest joke I've ever played on anyone. Later that night, they tried tricking me into thinking there was an earthquake by stomping in the room above me. A few days later the pastor asked me to sing in front of the congregation without a warning, which was also a joke. It was a fun week. I really got to know my family well through that!

The internship was great too. I basically served as an assistant to the English teachers, helping with pronounciation and answer kids' questions. I got a chance to work with all ages - preschool - 6th grade. I learned a new phrase there too. Mucha bulla! Too much noise! :) The teachers and kids were great, but the experience didn't convince me to become a teacher. I do like one on one or small group tutoring. It didn't surpise me that my favorite class was a group of 4 second graders.

Tonight was my last night with my family in San Jose. I still have a little bit of time with them tomorrow as we're not leaving for Cuba until 3pm, well I guess technically today now. They invited the whole youth group over so that I could see them one last time. They asked me to give a message so I shared how God used my back injury to call me into ministry. Afterward we had a birthday cake for the April birthdays, which happened to be Cinthya, my sister and Cristian, my nephew,and asked me to come by but I was the only one they gave gifts to even though my birthday is in September. I was a little confused, but it was super nice. I will miss my family in SJ a lot. They have been such a blessing!

This trip to Cuba is the chance of a lifetime. Ever since I started learning Spanish seriously, I thought it would be super cool to go to Cuba someday. Because it's been so off limits until now it's just so intriguing to me. But I never thought it would come this soon. One of the things I told the youth today is that my ultimate hope for this trip is that somehow I can be a small part of the reconciliation that needs to take place between my country and Cuba. I hope that when I come back I can help tear down this barrier of fear and hatred that both sides have built and begin to reconstruct bridges of hope and understanding. I know this type of change doesn't take place overnight and that honestly I can't do much at all. It is the Holy Spirit that does the transforming. Some of you may be concerned for my safety, but please be reassured I will be careful. Also there is extra security for tourists and our professors have been there before and have told us it is very safe.

I probably won't have internet access until I'm back in the states on the 26th, so no news is good news until then. When we get back we'l be in Miami a couple days debriefing. We also have a talent show which I was surprisingly nominated to be an EmCee, should be fun.

This semester has gone by extremely fast. Endings tend to always be bittersweet. When it comes time to say goodbye it's really hard, but I look forward to seeing my family and friends again. I know I will miss everyone I became close to this semester and so much about the experience while I am home as well. To say the least, I know I am better off for coming to Costa Rica and I thank God for such a privilege as this.